This few days have been quite refreshing. I indulged in all things me and girly.
I've done a Bridget Jones tonight, deliberating making a trip to get 2 seasons of Sex and the City, and one large tub of Chocolate Indulgence Connoisseur Ice Cream. Of course I donned on my pink lamb patterned flannel PJs to add to the mood.
I needed to feel happy being me again, and being me is getting happy over a lot of little things in life. I went to check out a new walking path in the neighbourhood in the rain, found out that the nearest dvd shop has since closed, I went to a few post offices to get my mails sorted, I visited my concierge- who is ever so nice and friendly, listened to a few amazing sermons, read the bible, looked at my friend's photos, rang a friend who attended church with me back from Singapore who is on MC, cooked chicken soup for dinner, and when it all adds up, I am feeling happy and contented.
I just sat through 5 episodes of SATC. From a sociological perspective, I really liked the way SATC throws some uncanny observations of women and society. Everyone can more or less identify themselves as 1 of them, or a cross of 2. I am probably very similar to Carrie in our perspectives on romance. Some of the things she said in season 2 make me laugh, because I believe I said the same things before.
Tomorrow I will take a walk and have coffee in a nice little cafe. The soy latte there is pretty yummy.
Wednesday, September 01, 2010
A little speechless...
I was catching up with him again, looking at the recent pictures of his mission trip with his daughter.
The wife and him are people I admire and love very much. At a glance, he looks like your typical soccer-loving, speaks your mind, scold the driver who cut in front of your sort of person. He doesn't earn top dollars, and doesn't live a out-of-this-world lifestyle.
Recently, he was told that his company is closing. He was about to lose his job of 10 over years.
He's got 2 kids and a wife to feed. Yet he brought his 11 year old daughter to Batam for a mission trip. She's the youngest there, and is already a good helper in the few trips they've taken. He also does the prison ministry with the church on some weeks.
I asked him if he was worried about the job. I'm sure he is from time to time. His actions sure doesn't show it.
How do people sail through all these and still remain unselfish? Isn't it time to retreat, consolidate your army, and put yourself before the rest? He's still faithfully looking for jobs, and God has been his provider.
I think I remembered why I admired him despite that rough edge he has. Together with his wife, they have been one of the most consistently loving, selfless and patient people I have came to experience. They gave me a glimpse of Christ-likeness.
All these while I was taking time to think about how I can make my life a little better, happier etc...
"Each of you should look not only to your interests, but also to the interests of others" (Philippians 2:4)
The wife and him are people I admire and love very much. At a glance, he looks like your typical soccer-loving, speaks your mind, scold the driver who cut in front of your sort of person. He doesn't earn top dollars, and doesn't live a out-of-this-world lifestyle.
Recently, he was told that his company is closing. He was about to lose his job of 10 over years.
He's got 2 kids and a wife to feed. Yet he brought his 11 year old daughter to Batam for a mission trip. She's the youngest there, and is already a good helper in the few trips they've taken. He also does the prison ministry with the church on some weeks.
I asked him if he was worried about the job. I'm sure he is from time to time. His actions sure doesn't show it.
How do people sail through all these and still remain unselfish? Isn't it time to retreat, consolidate your army, and put yourself before the rest? He's still faithfully looking for jobs, and God has been his provider.
I think I remembered why I admired him despite that rough edge he has. Together with his wife, they have been one of the most consistently loving, selfless and patient people I have came to experience. They gave me a glimpse of Christ-likeness.
All these while I was taking time to think about how I can make my life a little better, happier etc...
"Each of you should look not only to your interests, but also to the interests of others" (Philippians 2:4)
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Let's connect, superficially...
I am contemplating deleting my profile on facebook.
I was initially drawn into it as a form of keeping in touch with friends I've lost.
When I've found my 'long lost friends', I know I can choose to keep in touch via email.
Be honest to yourself, when did you last spent 10mins looking at someone else's life? And after that and you didn't even write a "Hi" after you sifted through his stack of photos of birthdays, party, trip with his girlfriend, comments on his pet dog and the recent wedding he's attended. Ironically, as much as you have now known the intimate details of his life, you are unlikely to even want to tell him what you did last weekend.
There are the 'sifters', and there are the 'exhibitionists'. Yes, these two make the perfect pair, and is one of many reasons why facebook continues to thrive. The exhibitionists are the ones who tell others what they did for lunch, pictures of their breakfast, what they are thinking for dinner and if it involves boiling, steaming or blanching. Their updates move faster than the ticker tape of Nasdaq, and they know they have got an audience. Their profile, comments and 432 friends radiates great impressions better than the good news bible.
Point is, is there a point? We all know there's only superficial truth and an element of WYSI(Not)WYG there. Why waste time writing, and why waste time reading? Would a good old 'Hi, how are things? What about you?' draw more goodness than a medium that relieves us with an avenue to connect superficially?
Sunday, August 15, 2010
He
He can grant a wish or make a dream come true
He can paint the clouds and turn the gray to blue
He alone knows where to find the rainbow's end
He alone can see what lies beyond the bend
Finally I felt that I did the right thing.
Monday, August 09, 2010
Conflicts
“If death and taxes are the first two certainties of life, conflict is the third. Life requires conflict! It is an essential part of God’s redeeming plan. Through conflict we know our need, acknowledge our sin, recognize truth, and it is by conflict God tests our faith.” (Book titled "Leaders on Leadership")
Monday, August 02, 2010
What are you selling?
Ever how you come across to people around you?
I am a very cautious person by nature. There are days I focus more on what can go wrong, versus what is right. I think for that reason, I am a really good operator, good at keeping deadlines and pre-empting risks, but possibly an uninspiring leader.
Walking home in half angst today, I was a little peeved about some work issues. For a moment, I caught myself in that 'mode'. If I saw myself across the road, I'll stay on the my side to avoid the angsty person on the other end.
If the bible is a source of good news, I hope I sell the right goods. Do I sell hope, faith and love? Or gloom, storms and 'what ifs'?
"We continually remember before our God and Father your work produced by faith, your labor prompted by love, and your endurance inspired by hope in our Lord Jesus Christ" (1 Thes 1:3)
Isn't it amazing if you walk into work and you meet someone who radiates faith, hope and love?
Sometimes you have to put logic aside
I'm starting a 21 day prayer (and hopefully fasting of some kind) that the church entering into right now.
Did I even once mention that I'm a sucker for prioritising? For me, everything has a rank, a meaning and an accorded importance.
Lately I find that my attention has been drawn away and I'm too caught up with one or two things.
I hope that this time of prayer will help me realign a little more. To put what's on top at the top.
It's very tempting to say 'better job', 'more friends' or 'happier life'...
But something tells me that it's not just going to be about me.
It's about seeking him first, and the rest will settle.
Did I even once mention that I'm a sucker for prioritising? For me, everything has a rank, a meaning and an accorded importance.
Lately I find that my attention has been drawn away and I'm too caught up with one or two things.
I hope that this time of prayer will help me realign a little more. To put what's on top at the top.
It's very tempting to say 'better job', 'more friends' or 'happier life'...
But something tells me that it's not just going to be about me.
It's about seeking him first, and the rest will settle.
Monday, July 12, 2010
Who would you marry?
Who would I marry...
At 15, it was that guy with that cute smile.
At 20, it was that guy who smiled at you.
At 25, it was that guy who you enjoyed your dates with
At 30, it was that guy who is your best friend
At 31, it was that guy who is still your best friend and can provide for your kids
At 32, it was that guy who would walk the mile for you and with you
At 33, it is the man who thinks he's found a treasure in you, and your treasure is him.
At 15, it was that guy with that cute smile.
At 20, it was that guy who smiled at you.
At 25, it was that guy who you enjoyed your dates with
At 30, it was that guy who is your best friend
At 31, it was that guy who is still your best friend and can provide for your kids
At 32, it was that guy who would walk the mile for you and with you
At 33, it is the man who thinks he's found a treasure in you, and your treasure is him.
She said she'll give me lollipops
She said she'll give me lollipops, until I realized that they were made from Play doh.
Her mum is in hospital, after the baby decided to come 2 months early. She misses her dad like crazy, and is especially grouchy in the mornings.
She's especially cheeky, coming from a girl who insists on feeding herself from a big porcelain mug at 1 year old, about the same time I slapped my hand into my first birthday cake and laughed.
I can't say if I like all the new bundles of joy floating around facebook. To me, all babies look the same, and until they can make some meaningful conversation with you, they don't fascinate me much.
(There I said it!.. Shoot me)
Funny how I look at the man and he's not that fascinated with kids too. I used to be that position, and it worried some people a lot. I only love my own... and those who I have a real relationship with.
Someone like my 4 year old niece, who has a life bigger than her auntie here.
Her mum is in hospital, after the baby decided to come 2 months early. She misses her dad like crazy, and is especially grouchy in the mornings.
She's especially cheeky, coming from a girl who insists on feeding herself from a big porcelain mug at 1 year old, about the same time I slapped my hand into my first birthday cake and laughed.
I can't say if I like all the new bundles of joy floating around facebook. To me, all babies look the same, and until they can make some meaningful conversation with you, they don't fascinate me much.
(There I said it!.. Shoot me)
Funny how I look at the man and he's not that fascinated with kids too. I used to be that position, and it worried some people a lot. I only love my own... and those who I have a real relationship with.
Someone like my 4 year old niece, who has a life bigger than her auntie here.
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Just like Kevin
Recently I was asked by my colleague what my plans are after finishing my last exam. Cheekily, I pulled aside another colleague passing by and asked him the same question.
I asked him "What are your plans for the next 5 years?"
Without hesitating, he answered "I want to start taking control of my life"
I asked "How old are you?"
He answered "40, and hence it's time to start"
For the last few nights, I was flipping through job search pages. The current position is comfortable, the hours are good, the money is fine, but I don't feel the satisfaction. Perhaps it's the way the job is crafted for mediocrity, for those who prefer to make a run at 4.45pm and do the same things day-in-day-out.
Decisions decision...
I've flipped through Australian job sites, and I switch over to the Singapore ones. I did searches ranging from Audit to Assurance, Internal Controls to Business Analyst. There's the dilemma of which way to go. Sha who is close to finishing her ACCA will understand that at the end of the day, starting from scratch to gain a strict accounting experience is not an option. You just have to find a job that allows you to marry up both your previous life and the current one.
Times like these I want to go find a hole to hide.
Like what my colleague says, it's time to take control nevertheless. I don't think status quo is a good option. Comfort can be nice, but most times, it's a long term enemy. Drifting along is just as bad.
I am a planner.. i think about the future on my way to work, while waiting for the lift, on the toilet seat, in between tv programs.
Maybe I should take a leaf from Kevin Rudd... PM one day, jobless the next. I was just reading his tweets a moment ago, and from the numerous agendas and meetings he once had, now his activity of the day is to bring his son to the airport.
Well, what awaits me tomorrow? I think I shall just explore all avenues, and worry about it when it becomes a reality. Just like good ole Kevin Rudd.
I asked him "What are your plans for the next 5 years?"
Without hesitating, he answered "I want to start taking control of my life"
I asked "How old are you?"
He answered "40, and hence it's time to start"
For the last few nights, I was flipping through job search pages. The current position is comfortable, the hours are good, the money is fine, but I don't feel the satisfaction. Perhaps it's the way the job is crafted for mediocrity, for those who prefer to make a run at 4.45pm and do the same things day-in-day-out.
Decisions decision...
I've flipped through Australian job sites, and I switch over to the Singapore ones. I did searches ranging from Audit to Assurance, Internal Controls to Business Analyst. There's the dilemma of which way to go. Sha who is close to finishing her ACCA will understand that at the end of the day, starting from scratch to gain a strict accounting experience is not an option. You just have to find a job that allows you to marry up both your previous life and the current one.
Times like these I want to go find a hole to hide.
Like what my colleague says, it's time to take control nevertheless. I don't think status quo is a good option. Comfort can be nice, but most times, it's a long term enemy. Drifting along is just as bad.
I am a planner.. i think about the future on my way to work, while waiting for the lift, on the toilet seat, in between tv programs.
Maybe I should take a leaf from Kevin Rudd... PM one day, jobless the next. I was just reading his tweets a moment ago, and from the numerous agendas and meetings he once had, now his activity of the day is to bring his son to the airport.
Well, what awaits me tomorrow? I think I shall just explore all avenues, and worry about it when it becomes a reality. Just like good ole Kevin Rudd.
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
The Hand is Free (soon)
My hand is getting out of prison after 5.5 weeks. It's a few days to 6 weeks but I am sneaking the opportunity to get it off since I'm going to Sydney.
The strange thing is that I really would have kept it till 6 weeks. It feels that I have run the race, and finished rightly.
As much as I complained in the earlier weeks, the same discomforts are there, but in a way, I'm past the crest of a big hump. I still struggle with 1 hand - tonight's dinner was disgusting because while trying to haul a laptop, a handbag and a large mcdonalds paper bag (no plastic ones with disabled friendly loops), and talking on the mobile phone with 1 hand, the coke spilled into my chicken mcnuggets and my fries, and then continued on soaking into my handbag. The clean up took longer than eating it, and I chucked half away since they were soggy.
Back to the hand, I was reflecting upon how I went from angst to submission. Factually, nothing has changed. The soggy mcnuggets are still in the bin. The word 'opportunity' just kept popping up. Somehow without the hand, I never knew there'll be strangers who can be concerned about a broken arm. I won't know how someone will stand up to be even more patient and drop yet another gear down. I won't know if another will cook and wash for me without fussing. I won't know how much perserverance I hold inside me, and the threshold of my own patience. Now I know, not just within my head, but with trial-tested assurance, where all these stand.
Jesus in his famous parable of The Good Samaritan, asked "Which of these three do you think was a neighbor to the man who fell into the hands of robbers?" (The religious people who hurriedly went past him or the one who bandaged his wounds).The expert in the law replied, "The one who had mercy on him." Jesus told him, "Go and do likewise."
On the eve of removing my cast, I can say that the trial wasn't the hardest, and I don't wish to be cliche by saying that testing is good for you, but I dare say that through this harder time, I'm better acquainted with mercy and touched by those who didn't walk away. Oh, I am also more patient with myself too.
Introducing my one-handed friendly friends:
Hooks to hang my clothes instead of doing a balancing act with the hanger with 1 hand and a chin
From left: Disposable cutlery, the wand dish-scrubber, colgate handy pump toothpaste, very large garbage bag with convenient ties, microwave food since I can't cut and slice.
The strange thing is that I really would have kept it till 6 weeks. It feels that I have run the race, and finished rightly.
As much as I complained in the earlier weeks, the same discomforts are there, but in a way, I'm past the crest of a big hump. I still struggle with 1 hand - tonight's dinner was disgusting because while trying to haul a laptop, a handbag and a large mcdonalds paper bag (no plastic ones with disabled friendly loops), and talking on the mobile phone with 1 hand, the coke spilled into my chicken mcnuggets and my fries, and then continued on soaking into my handbag. The clean up took longer than eating it, and I chucked half away since they were soggy.
Back to the hand, I was reflecting upon how I went from angst to submission. Factually, nothing has changed. The soggy mcnuggets are still in the bin. The word 'opportunity' just kept popping up. Somehow without the hand, I never knew there'll be strangers who can be concerned about a broken arm. I won't know how someone will stand up to be even more patient and drop yet another gear down. I won't know if another will cook and wash for me without fussing. I won't know how much perserverance I hold inside me, and the threshold of my own patience. Now I know, not just within my head, but with trial-tested assurance, where all these stand.
Jesus in his famous parable of The Good Samaritan, asked "Which of these three do you think was a neighbor to the man who fell into the hands of robbers?" (The religious people who hurriedly went past him or the one who bandaged his wounds).The expert in the law replied, "The one who had mercy on him." Jesus told him, "Go and do likewise."
On the eve of removing my cast, I can say that the trial wasn't the hardest, and I don't wish to be cliche by saying that testing is good for you, but I dare say that through this harder time, I'm better acquainted with mercy and touched by those who didn't walk away. Oh, I am also more patient with myself too.
Introducing my one-handed friendly friends:
Hooks to hang my clothes instead of doing a balancing act with the hanger with 1 hand and a chin
From left: Disposable cutlery, the wand dish-scrubber, colgate handy pump toothpaste, very large garbage bag with convenient ties, microwave food since I can't cut and slice.
Monday, April 12, 2010
A friend in need is a friend indeed...
There are things I cannot explain.
Such as why you feel lonely with a broken arm, and why the people who can help you are so far away.
While the near and dear seems little to be found
Unfair he cries, why is my world on his shoulders
And he asks for the cup to be taken away
Did they tell you that a friend in need is a friend indeed
Is more an age old fable before the world coined neediness and busyness
That people should be able to stand on their own two feet
And not oblige others with their inequities
Who is just a passing fantasy
Of proven love, of deep assurance
Like a whiff of air
Once there
Now gone
Such as why you feel lonely with a broken arm, and why the people who can help you are so far away.
While the near and dear seems little to be found
Unfair he cries, why is my world on his shoulders
And he asks for the cup to be taken away
Did they tell you that a friend in need is a friend indeed
Is more an age old fable before the world coined neediness and busyness
That people should be able to stand on their own two feet
And not oblige others with their inequities
Who is just a passing fantasy
Of proven love, of deep assurance
Like a whiff of air
Once there
Now gone
Monday, March 15, 2010
Joyful versus happiness
I was thinking about what it meant when people say that all they want in their life is to be happy.
A few years back, I told a friend that my goal in life was not to be happy. He must have thought I was sadistic.
Then I realised that I must have shocked him.
There's a line in Sophie B Hawkin's "As I lay Me Down" that says "I wonder why I feel so high, though I am not above my sorrows". I do realised that a lot of things in life are many good things which do not make you happy, but they bring your joy.
Obedience, perserverance, responsibility, commitment, being patient, faithfulness, kindness... how happy can we possibly be waiting for someone, committing to something, doing something because out of responsibility, sticking on and pressing on when we don't really feel like it? The ways of the world teaches is to do whatever that makes you happy, and leave the uncomfortable things in life belongs to realms of the religious and overly moralistic.
Happiness is a feeling, joy isn't. Joy is knowing that you are bearing the fruits of the spirit inside you, knowing that even when that moment ends, you come out more like Jesus, who was not above His own sorrows, but walked in joyful obedience to the way of the cross.
Oh yes, how I got this thought.. I was climbing up the stairwell from the first to second floor in between meetings, thinking about what Jack Neo would have done if he resisted his extra-marital temptations and fought the thought that the pursuit of his own happiness isn't just the only goal his life. Very miserable, but hopefully responsibly and obediently joyful.
A few years back, I told a friend that my goal in life was not to be happy. He must have thought I was sadistic.
Then I realised that I must have shocked him.
There's a line in Sophie B Hawkin's "As I lay Me Down" that says "I wonder why I feel so high, though I am not above my sorrows". I do realised that a lot of things in life are many good things which do not make you happy, but they bring your joy.
Obedience, perserverance, responsibility, commitment, being patient, faithfulness, kindness... how happy can we possibly be waiting for someone, committing to something, doing something because out of responsibility, sticking on and pressing on when we don't really feel like it? The ways of the world teaches is to do whatever that makes you happy, and leave the uncomfortable things in life belongs to realms of the religious and overly moralistic.
Happiness is a feeling, joy isn't. Joy is knowing that you are bearing the fruits of the spirit inside you, knowing that even when that moment ends, you come out more like Jesus, who was not above His own sorrows, but walked in joyful obedience to the way of the cross.
Oh yes, how I got this thought.. I was climbing up the stairwell from the first to second floor in between meetings, thinking about what Jack Neo would have done if he resisted his extra-marital temptations and fought the thought that the pursuit of his own happiness isn't just the only goal his life. Very miserable, but hopefully responsibly and obediently joyful.
Monday, March 01, 2010
Still a special bunch...
At 11.30pm, my phone rings. Wonder who can it be.
Voices came on the other side, it was Audrey. Then more voices, and I remembered that it was 27 Feb. They have included me in the email for the CNY gathering at Angie's.
They took turns to talk to me, every one of them, except Angie who was tending to the baby. I don't know if they knew I was envious, and was also touched. For the short moments, I caught myself laughing. They are such happy, generous, thoughtful and amazing people.
I missed the tribe. I must have been very blessed to know people who still thought of me after 6 years of absence.
Happy new year to you all too. God bless all of you.
Voices came on the other side, it was Audrey. Then more voices, and I remembered that it was 27 Feb. They have included me in the email for the CNY gathering at Angie's.
They took turns to talk to me, every one of them, except Angie who was tending to the baby. I don't know if they knew I was envious, and was also touched. For the short moments, I caught myself laughing. They are such happy, generous, thoughtful and amazing people.
I missed the tribe. I must have been very blessed to know people who still thought of me after 6 years of absence.
Happy new year to you all too. God bless all of you.
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
When Love Happens After Valentine's Day
We didn't have a fancy Valentine's day. I made 3 photo collages of all our shared moments, and he bought me some tulips. We had lunch at South Melbourne, walked around the NGV, and he had to spend chinese new year dinner with his family. We weren't in the best of lovey moods.
24 hours later, I called him after spotting a moth in the room. I have a out-of-proportion fear for moths (second only to cockroaches). It was 1.20am. There is no one at the house. I called him up in panic, and he tried pacifying me in his drowsiness. When the moth went into hiding, I went into panic, imaginations of how it will fly into my face surfaces. I have a knack for attracting creepy crawlies- a cockroach flew right unto my face while I was sleeping once, another one crept up my foot... a beetle flew past and got stuck in my hair even as I was running away from it, a spider I spotted in the living room walked right next to me in the shower stall, another spider with fat hairy legs nearly got flung unto me when I slammed the car door closed, and I ran out from the other side before you can say 'OMG'.
Back to the eventful night, he got into his car after hearing me fruitless attempts at trying to prod everything using a mop. Unfortunately, I only found the moth after he was already reaching.
The strange thing was, I felt that love happened after valentine's day. As I type, I am still looking at the pretty pink tulips in their half blossoms, but I can't help knowing that as unromantic as it sounds, there was love happening when someone gets out of bed, drives 20mins each way to help you rid a harmless moth.
I am still thinking about it at 3am...
24 hours later, I called him after spotting a moth in the room. I have a out-of-proportion fear for moths (second only to cockroaches). It was 1.20am. There is no one at the house. I called him up in panic, and he tried pacifying me in his drowsiness. When the moth went into hiding, I went into panic, imaginations of how it will fly into my face surfaces. I have a knack for attracting creepy crawlies- a cockroach flew right unto my face while I was sleeping once, another one crept up my foot... a beetle flew past and got stuck in my hair even as I was running away from it, a spider I spotted in the living room walked right next to me in the shower stall, another spider with fat hairy legs nearly got flung unto me when I slammed the car door closed, and I ran out from the other side before you can say 'OMG'.
Back to the eventful night, he got into his car after hearing me fruitless attempts at trying to prod everything using a mop. Unfortunately, I only found the moth after he was already reaching.
The strange thing was, I felt that love happened after valentine's day. As I type, I am still looking at the pretty pink tulips in their half blossoms, but I can't help knowing that as unromantic as it sounds, there was love happening when someone gets out of bed, drives 20mins each way to help you rid a harmless moth.
I am still thinking about it at 3am...
Monday, February 01, 2010
What do you want to reap?
What do you want to reap tomorrow?
Just thinking about it makes me nervous, sometimes sad.
Nervous because I don't know if I am making the right decision. Sad because I usually have a humanly-devised ideal solution that is also usually out of reach.
Amidst the slew of decisions made and those to be made in the next few weeks, I was listening to the Derek Prince podcast on my way home today. He spoke on finding security in doing God's will. It reminded me of how as I grew older, I am more afraid of making wrong decisions, even little mistakes that will cost me a day of wasted time. My patience with myself falls short as well.
I know doing God's will will reap me the right fruits, and knowing that you are doing it with God's stamp of approval makes you feel real secure. Think about making a heavy financial investment by yourself versus together with someone. The risk of defaulting is definitely there, but the level of risk is mitigated by the strongest person in the partnership. If God is all powerful, then I want to have him in all the scary decisions that I make.
Time to snooze. Too much frustrations tonight...
Just thinking about it makes me nervous, sometimes sad.
Nervous because I don't know if I am making the right decision. Sad because I usually have a humanly-devised ideal solution that is also usually out of reach.
Amidst the slew of decisions made and those to be made in the next few weeks, I was listening to the Derek Prince podcast on my way home today. He spoke on finding security in doing God's will. It reminded me of how as I grew older, I am more afraid of making wrong decisions, even little mistakes that will cost me a day of wasted time. My patience with myself falls short as well.
I know doing God's will will reap me the right fruits, and knowing that you are doing it with God's stamp of approval makes you feel real secure. Think about making a heavy financial investment by yourself versus together with someone. The risk of defaulting is definitely there, but the level of risk is mitigated by the strongest person in the partnership. If God is all powerful, then I want to have him in all the scary decisions that I make.
Time to snooze. Too much frustrations tonight...
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Deja Vu
"Hey, how's your day? Is everything going fine?"
It was a text message that brought back a sense of deja vu. Some years back, while I was feeling sad, having a stomachache and the cat was sick, there was another sms that was came that same manner, only much more touching.
I laughed as we exchanged a few more texts and I fell asleep happily soon after.
In For One More Day, Mitch Albom wrote about Charley Benetto who was at his end of his wits. He was about to visit his childhood home to end his life, until he had a flashback, spending one final day with his dead mother. Together with his mother, he went back in time to see how his mother never stopped loving him and his sister, despite him trying to gain validation from an absent dad. The sections "Times I did not stand up for my mother" vs "Times My mother stood up for me" was bittersweet for me as well. In the end, Charley did not want to die any more, for he discovered how much his life was valued by being loved.
Know the ones who love you, for even when love cannot change circumstances, it can still lift you out of your darkest pits.
For the thief (devil) comes to destroy, but Jesus came that we may have life, and have it abundantly (John 10:10).
It was a text message that brought back a sense of deja vu. Some years back, while I was feeling sad, having a stomachache and the cat was sick, there was another sms that was came that same manner, only much more touching.
I laughed as we exchanged a few more texts and I fell asleep happily soon after.
In For One More Day, Mitch Albom wrote about Charley Benetto who was at his end of his wits. He was about to visit his childhood home to end his life, until he had a flashback, spending one final day with his dead mother. Together with his mother, he went back in time to see how his mother never stopped loving him and his sister, despite him trying to gain validation from an absent dad. The sections "Times I did not stand up for my mother" vs "Times My mother stood up for me" was bittersweet for me as well. In the end, Charley did not want to die any more, for he discovered how much his life was valued by being loved.
Know the ones who love you, for even when love cannot change circumstances, it can still lift you out of your darkest pits.
For the thief (devil) comes to destroy, but Jesus came that we may have life, and have it abundantly (John 10:10).
Sunday, January 10, 2010
A Whiff of Fresh Air
Isn't it strange how you never noticed someone's soft spot for you till you zoom out to look at the bigger picture?
Thursday, January 07, 2010
Faithfulness and Uncertainty
Sometimes, we will have to make a 100 percent commitment to something even thought we do not have 100 percent certainty in our beliefs about it. When we can live in the midst of uncertainty with joyful and courageous commitment, we will change. We will become, maybe not more certain, but more faithful. And faithfulness matters more than certainty. It just doesn't feel as good.
What matters then is not certainty, but faithfulness. When certainty is not possible, faithfulness is still on the table.
What matters then is not certainty, but faithfulness. When certainty is not possible, faithfulness is still on the table.
Tuesday, January 05, 2010
Out of the Craziness
I must be the only one to be glad that the holidays are over.
Four full days in Sydney: eating roasts, a big nectarine & apricot cake, drinking copious amount of coffee and wine, reuniting with intersate and overseas friends, meeting up Kwok's colleagues from Mallesons, Rockband, brekky @ Bills and Gunners Barracks (both thumbs down), beautiful Mosman with dreamy yatchs just outside the balcony (to die for)...
I'm back to normalcy again. I haven't quite had that much time to think about things amidst the crazy buzz of the holidays.
Most of all, I always thought I wanted an answer to something, without figuring out if I myself had the answer. I haven't sat myself down to seriously consider if this was something I wanted. Reasons aside, I have deviated to a point that I need to slow myself down and take serious stock.
My first temptation came shortly after they've kept the fireworks. The recruiter called once again. He's always given me the feeling of someone manipulative. Before he can dangle another questionable job offer for this year, I got ahead of him by politely telling him what jobs I am truly interested in. Did I want to hear the rest? No thanks. I would like to stay focused. He later emailed to wish me happy new year.
If 2009 is a drift-along year, 2010 will be more adventurous and fruitful. Give me something exciting to work with, and with the help from God, it'll surely bring forth good fruits.
Four full days in Sydney: eating roasts, a big nectarine & apricot cake, drinking copious amount of coffee and wine, reuniting with intersate and overseas friends, meeting up Kwok's colleagues from Mallesons, Rockband, brekky @ Bills and Gunners Barracks (both thumbs down), beautiful Mosman with dreamy yatchs just outside the balcony (to die for)...
I'm back to normalcy again. I haven't quite had that much time to think about things amidst the crazy buzz of the holidays.
Most of all, I always thought I wanted an answer to something, without figuring out if I myself had the answer. I haven't sat myself down to seriously consider if this was something I wanted. Reasons aside, I have deviated to a point that I need to slow myself down and take serious stock.
My first temptation came shortly after they've kept the fireworks. The recruiter called once again. He's always given me the feeling of someone manipulative. Before he can dangle another questionable job offer for this year, I got ahead of him by politely telling him what jobs I am truly interested in. Did I want to hear the rest? No thanks. I would like to stay focused. He later emailed to wish me happy new year.
If 2009 is a drift-along year, 2010 will be more adventurous and fruitful. Give me something exciting to work with, and with the help from God, it'll surely bring forth good fruits.
Friday, December 25, 2009
Christmas Ironies
It's Christmas day today and I'm heading off to Sydney in a few hours.
Driving along the freeway tonight, I was having a conversation with God. I thanked Him for sending Jesus down to earth, and to eventually die for us.
Jesus is his manifestation of God's love for us. This is why we celebrate Christmas.
Yet there are people I know that wished for this season to be over soon. It's a time where they are reminded of their loneliness, the lack of loved-ones around, the silence of the house as their neighbours fairy lights blinked on. All is calm, but there is no sleeping in heavenly peace.
I don't have family and close friends with me at this moment. Pangs of sadness did hit me as I was doing my last minute Christmas shopping and images of happy people and rowdy noises overwhelme me. I was also reminded of a single mother who will be spending Christmas all by herself. My heart sunk and I told God how much I really missed Him as my company.
So I ended the conversation in the car telling God that Christmas should be even more for those who are sad, lonely and hurting- for these are the people God has so much love for. Jesus would have invited them to his birthday party today.
Maybe another day.... when Christmas is really celebrated for what it is meant for.
Driving along the freeway tonight, I was having a conversation with God. I thanked Him for sending Jesus down to earth, and to eventually die for us.
Jesus is his manifestation of God's love for us. This is why we celebrate Christmas.
Yet there are people I know that wished for this season to be over soon. It's a time where they are reminded of their loneliness, the lack of loved-ones around, the silence of the house as their neighbours fairy lights blinked on. All is calm, but there is no sleeping in heavenly peace.
I don't have family and close friends with me at this moment. Pangs of sadness did hit me as I was doing my last minute Christmas shopping and images of happy people and rowdy noises overwhelme me. I was also reminded of a single mother who will be spending Christmas all by herself. My heart sunk and I told God how much I really missed Him as my company.
So I ended the conversation in the car telling God that Christmas should be even more for those who are sad, lonely and hurting- for these are the people God has so much love for. Jesus would have invited them to his birthday party today.
Maybe another day.... when Christmas is really celebrated for what it is meant for.
Monday, November 16, 2009
Before 35
My good friend Sha did this in her blog, and I thought it's good to think about it (while recuperating at home from a lousy bout of gastro)
Things I would like to do before 35
1) Get married- Highly dependent on God
2) Be conversant in French - gave a lot back since sitting in french class in uni speaking hokkien with angela... oh, that and checking out the butt of the french instructor.
3) Finish the 10km marathon - I will sign up for the next one in 2010
4) Live in a place I can call my own - no more fearful eviction letters from housing agents!
5) Bring a person in need of God to church - not just inviting a friend
6) Serve in church
7) Learn photoshop
8) Finish reading the bible
9) Go camping
10) Swim and cycle decently
Things I would like to do before 35
1) Get married- Highly dependent on God
2) Be conversant in French - gave a lot back since sitting in french class in uni speaking hokkien with angela... oh, that and checking out the butt of the french instructor.
3) Finish the 10km marathon - I will sign up for the next one in 2010
4) Live in a place I can call my own - no more fearful eviction letters from housing agents!
5) Bring a person in need of God to church - not just inviting a friend
6) Serve in church
7) Learn photoshop
8) Finish reading the bible
9) Go camping
10) Swim and cycle decently
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Some Japan Pics
I can still dream of Japan from time to time.
If you ask me, I will go back there again, maybe in a different season.
I love the Asian-ness of the place.
Fushimi Inari - Too many Torii (gates) to count... thousands...
Mister Donut- Our morning staple. The green tea flavoured ones always runs out first.
Streets of Takayama - This is my favourite strip of all Japan. I love the wooden shophouses and the amazing local products, crafts, food of the Hida region. I can go walk there 1,000,000 times.
A really nice sweet shop in Takayama- Did I tell you that I really like sweets? I'm also a sucker for good looking sweets.
Shirakawa-go: 1 hour bus ride from Takayama. It is nestled in the valleys. During the winter, all the thatched roofs are laden with a thick layer of snow. I can huddle here for my honeymoon or something. It is soooo dreamy!
If you ask me, I will go back there again, maybe in a different season.
I love the Asian-ness of the place.
Fushimi Inari - Too many Torii (gates) to count... thousands...
Mister Donut- Our morning staple. The green tea flavoured ones always runs out first.
Streets of Takayama - This is my favourite strip of all Japan. I love the wooden shophouses and the amazing local products, crafts, food of the Hida region. I can go walk there 1,000,000 times.
A really nice sweet shop in Takayama- Did I tell you that I really like sweets? I'm also a sucker for good looking sweets.
Shirakawa-go: 1 hour bus ride from Takayama. It is nestled in the valleys. During the winter, all the thatched roofs are laden with a thick layer of snow. I can huddle here for my honeymoon or something. It is soooo dreamy!
Der Raum
Trying to paint the town red again.
This time, we headed down to 2008 Bar of the Year- Der Raum at Church St. This unpretentious little cocktail joint is not your everyday cocktail lounge. The bartenders there are not only cute, but they are apt at finding you the right cooktail, as well as making cocktail blending look like such an amazing craft!
After mulling through the cocktail list for a good 10 mins, I was lured into ordering a Lemon Buttered Rum, just because it's got lemon butter, and maple syrup! The man ordered a a chocolate cocktail- a mixture of chocolate and yellow chartreuse (spice-like liquor) and frozen using liquid nitrogen into an ice-cream texture in 1 minute flat. It was fascinating to watch, very much like Macbeth and the witches cauldron bubbling with smoke as the bartender mix the ingredients up with his long metal spoon. I'm glad I got the bar seat, because the fun is really in the watching. The presentation of the drinks was creative and nothing short of a high ball glass.
Of course, did I already mention the cute bartenders? They are real friendly, and not the stuck-up sorts you see in most bars. The guy who who made my drink made it a point to chat with us, not in a patronising sort of way, but trying to suss out what sort of flavours we like so that he can make our drinking experience more satisfying.
The man was probably more delighted to meet Masterchef finalist Linda Kowalski. I thought she was quite nice when we were talking about her food escapades in Italy. Of course, I did not realise who she is as I am ridiculously bad at recognising faces. I can have Matt Preston sit next to me and I'll be asking him what he does for a living.
The bartender trying to mix the chocolate cocktail with liquid nitrogen
Thursday, September 10, 2009
If work is the context, what's the goal?
I've been thinking about this a little.
While no one will be able to come to their own funeral to hear the eulogies, you can certainly tell a little with the numerous farewells in life.
A colleague just left. I bought her the card and present on behalf of the team, another colleague organised a lunch. We weren't that close to her, but decided that if we weren't doing it, no one was going to.
Which is a little strange, considering she's been seen as such a good worker. She works long hours, delivers her assignments with spunk, and might be one of the more professional people I've worked with.
Problem is, she's too task driven to stop to have a real chat with any of us. The 'hi' is always a prelude to work. We sort of gave up talking much to her after a while, feeling like all she wanted was to just tick the box, and not really being that interested in our lives.
Maybe it is not everyone's mantra to make friends at work, just keep it at colleague level.
Which may have explained why the farewell was a little nondescript.
If God gave us work as a context, what is the goal?
I'd like to think that it is to show God's love and glory.
But is it a little hard to do so if there weren't bonds of human relationship that acts as a bridge between two people. It is from this bridge that God's love and glory get a chance to travel back and forth.
I never think work is about working 8-12 hours, delivering the goods and leave feeling that you never really made a difference around those you worked with.
Humans... we are made to connect aren't we?
While no one will be able to come to their own funeral to hear the eulogies, you can certainly tell a little with the numerous farewells in life.
A colleague just left. I bought her the card and present on behalf of the team, another colleague organised a lunch. We weren't that close to her, but decided that if we weren't doing it, no one was going to.
Which is a little strange, considering she's been seen as such a good worker. She works long hours, delivers her assignments with spunk, and might be one of the more professional people I've worked with.
Problem is, she's too task driven to stop to have a real chat with any of us. The 'hi' is always a prelude to work. We sort of gave up talking much to her after a while, feeling like all she wanted was to just tick the box, and not really being that interested in our lives.
Maybe it is not everyone's mantra to make friends at work, just keep it at colleague level.
Which may have explained why the farewell was a little nondescript.
If God gave us work as a context, what is the goal?
I'd like to think that it is to show God's love and glory.
But is it a little hard to do so if there weren't bonds of human relationship that acts as a bridge between two people. It is from this bridge that God's love and glory get a chance to travel back and forth.
I never think work is about working 8-12 hours, delivering the goods and leave feeling that you never really made a difference around those you worked with.
Humans... we are made to connect aren't we?
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Marriage...
Was reading through these interesting write-ups about marriage:
“Marriage can be wonderful. It can be deeply satisfying and mutually fulfilling. But if it becomes that, it is because both partners have paid a very high price over many years to make it that way. They will have died to selfishness a thousand times. They will have had countless difficult conversations. They will have endured sleepless nights and strained days. They will have prayed hundreds of prayers for wisdom and patience and courage and understanding. They will have said ‘I’m sorry’ too many times to remember. They will have been stretched to the breaking point often enough to have learned that, unless Christ is at the center of both of their lives, the odds for achieving marital satisfaction are very, very low.”
(Bill Hybels, Fit to be Tied)
“I have no way of knowing whether or not you married the wrong person, but I do know that many people have a lot of wrong ideas about marriage and what it takes to make that marriage happy successful. I’ll be the first to admit that it’s possible that you did marry the wrong person. However if you treat the wrong person like the right person, you could well end up having married the right person after all.
On the other hand, if you marry the right person, and treat that person wrong, you certainly will have ended up marrying the wrong person. I also know that it is far more important to be the right kind of person than it is to marry the right person. In short, whether you married the right or wrong person is primarily up to you.”
(Zig Ziglar)
“Marriage can be wonderful. It can be deeply satisfying and mutually fulfilling. But if it becomes that, it is because both partners have paid a very high price over many years to make it that way. They will have died to selfishness a thousand times. They will have had countless difficult conversations. They will have endured sleepless nights and strained days. They will have prayed hundreds of prayers for wisdom and patience and courage and understanding. They will have said ‘I’m sorry’ too many times to remember. They will have been stretched to the breaking point often enough to have learned that, unless Christ is at the center of both of their lives, the odds for achieving marital satisfaction are very, very low.”
(Bill Hybels, Fit to be Tied)
“I have no way of knowing whether or not you married the wrong person, but I do know that many people have a lot of wrong ideas about marriage and what it takes to make that marriage happy successful. I’ll be the first to admit that it’s possible that you did marry the wrong person. However if you treat the wrong person like the right person, you could well end up having married the right person after all.
On the other hand, if you marry the right person, and treat that person wrong, you certainly will have ended up marrying the wrong person. I also know that it is far more important to be the right kind of person than it is to marry the right person. In short, whether you married the right or wrong person is primarily up to you.”
(Zig Ziglar)
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Heart's desires
I actually don't know what my yearnings are for, to go back to the days of the 20s, or the people whom I left behind.
Since I got out of school, I couldn't think of a year where I couldn't get friends for a holiday. There were some friends who have gone places with me, whom I know are such great traveling buddies. Among people like Audrey and Atikah, there was the annual tribal trip. For the last 2 years, the tribal trip had to take a backseat as two members had their little ones.
The thing is, my heart still longs for a holiday, and it feels lonely not having someone to get excited with. I haven't been able to find a traveling buddy here.
I thought a lot about my friends back home a lot. I probably thought more about them than I contact them. You know you've aged when you think about the past more than the future.
I used to think I'd like to be in Melbourne because of the work-life balance. I thought about having my own family and wanted very much to have time for that. In a nutshell, I bought the biggest bucket, and stood waiting for rain.
Yet the rain never really came.
I guess I never thought about Plan B. Like a lot of people my age, it would be nice to be near family and friends, people who understand you and accept you.
I'll be still standing around with my bucket, but if the rain doesn't come, life has to go on, and choices to be made. Idealism has to sometimes take a back seat, and the reality is what really counts for now.
Nevertheless, I thank God that He's given me a place to rest, and when I need to move on, He'll bring me to the next place. Hey, this sure sounds like 40 years in the desert isn't it?!
Since I got out of school, I couldn't think of a year where I couldn't get friends for a holiday. There were some friends who have gone places with me, whom I know are such great traveling buddies. Among people like Audrey and Atikah, there was the annual tribal trip. For the last 2 years, the tribal trip had to take a backseat as two members had their little ones.
The thing is, my heart still longs for a holiday, and it feels lonely not having someone to get excited with. I haven't been able to find a traveling buddy here.
I thought a lot about my friends back home a lot. I probably thought more about them than I contact them. You know you've aged when you think about the past more than the future.
I used to think I'd like to be in Melbourne because of the work-life balance. I thought about having my own family and wanted very much to have time for that. In a nutshell, I bought the biggest bucket, and stood waiting for rain.
Yet the rain never really came.
I guess I never thought about Plan B. Like a lot of people my age, it would be nice to be near family and friends, people who understand you and accept you.
I'll be still standing around with my bucket, but if the rain doesn't come, life has to go on, and choices to be made. Idealism has to sometimes take a back seat, and the reality is what really counts for now.
Nevertheless, I thank God that He's given me a place to rest, and when I need to move on, He'll bring me to the next place. Hey, this sure sounds like 40 years in the desert isn't it?!
Monday, May 18, 2009
Random Thoughts...
Well, I was suppose to blog about last week's travel to New Zealand, but since I'm working on a different laptop now, I can't post up the pics. So just some random thoughts to fill the blanks.
Some week ago, the cell group played an icebreaker answering the question "Who would you like to sit next to in a plane on a long-haul flight? (other than your partner)". In my teens, it would have been some movie star, then in my early 20s, it'll be some cute guy with more than 8hours potential, but the strangest answer that most gave now is "hopefully there's no one sitting next to me so i can have more space!"
I had that dream come true over my recent work trip to Wellington. I had 2 empty seats next to me on my way there and back, a hotel upgrade to the executive suit with a large king bed and 8 pillows to boot (plus a pillow menu with 4 other kinds of pillows to add on), but how many pillows does 1 person need? I had a card to swipe for 3 nice meals everyday, and yet there was just that many times you can muster a 'Table for 1 please' and not get a "pardon?" from the wait staff. For all that's worth, I'll trade all the fancy stuff in for a travelling buddy!
Is there a place for 1 in this world? Are we our best and worse company?
I must say I've been accustomed to both lifestyles. As I disembarked the plane this time, I did felt that I've taken too many solo plane flights in the last decade, with each time becoming more normal and less of an adventure.
N.B: For the record, I did walk into a noisy Belgian pub and asked for a huge pot of mussels, fries and a beer, sat in the middle of the restaurant, tackled as many of my green-lipped mussels, slurped my Belle Vue Krik, and at no time did I attempt to hide under the guise of being engrossed in a novel/newspaper/text messages. I did score better service with the waitress who probably thought I got stood up by a date.
View from the NZ Office's Breakout Room
View from the hotel balcony- NZ Post Building
Weekend Breakfast at Cuba St - Floriditas
Some week ago, the cell group played an icebreaker answering the question "Who would you like to sit next to in a plane on a long-haul flight? (other than your partner)". In my teens, it would have been some movie star, then in my early 20s, it'll be some cute guy with more than 8hours potential, but the strangest answer that most gave now is "hopefully there's no one sitting next to me so i can have more space!"
I had that dream come true over my recent work trip to Wellington. I had 2 empty seats next to me on my way there and back, a hotel upgrade to the executive suit with a large king bed and 8 pillows to boot (plus a pillow menu with 4 other kinds of pillows to add on), but how many pillows does 1 person need? I had a card to swipe for 3 nice meals everyday, and yet there was just that many times you can muster a 'Table for 1 please' and not get a "pardon?" from the wait staff. For all that's worth, I'll trade all the fancy stuff in for a travelling buddy!
Is there a place for 1 in this world? Are we our best and worse company?
I must say I've been accustomed to both lifestyles. As I disembarked the plane this time, I did felt that I've taken too many solo plane flights in the last decade, with each time becoming more normal and less of an adventure.
N.B: For the record, I did walk into a noisy Belgian pub and asked for a huge pot of mussels, fries and a beer, sat in the middle of the restaurant, tackled as many of my green-lipped mussels, slurped my Belle Vue Krik, and at no time did I attempt to hide under the guise of being engrossed in a novel/newspaper/text messages. I did score better service with the waitress who probably thought I got stood up by a date.
View from the NZ Office's Breakout Room
View from the hotel balcony- NZ Post Building
Weekend Breakfast at Cuba St - Floriditas
Tuesday, May 05, 2009
Autumn Snow
Victoria experienced a cold snap in the midst of Autumn last week. Besides digging up those winter woolies from the recesses of your cupboard, I dug up those gloves and beanies as well.
Mt Buller opened for the weekend as a result of the snow dump. The Bourke Street run was opened, and close to 2000 excited victorians made their way up for an early pilgrimage.
Besides slight patches of mud/grass threatening to show on the flatter slopes of the run, I am a happy snowboarder again. This time, I am less of a tumblebunny than a snow bunny, so I must say that I enjoyed myself more this time round. 4 years back, it took me 2hours to get down the same run on a pair of skis, but this time took me only 2 mins with the snowboard. Wheee!... Oh, Autumn skiing is very very very hot. If I had my way, a singlet and shorts will do me just fine.
Matthias and Flora came with us, and Flora did rather well, managing the run at the end of the afternoon. There were not that many beginners since none of the facilities were opened. Evidently, there was more snowboarders than skiers, and I stand by my choice that snowboarding is reallllllly more fun! (Thanks to the lighter Burton Board as well.. tsk tsk)
Hmm... this may be the end of snow season for me, even before the real snow season started!
Mt Buller opened for the weekend as a result of the snow dump. The Bourke Street run was opened, and close to 2000 excited victorians made their way up for an early pilgrimage.
Besides slight patches of mud/grass threatening to show on the flatter slopes of the run, I am a happy snowboarder again. This time, I am less of a tumblebunny than a snow bunny, so I must say that I enjoyed myself more this time round. 4 years back, it took me 2hours to get down the same run on a pair of skis, but this time took me only 2 mins with the snowboard. Wheee!... Oh, Autumn skiing is very very very hot. If I had my way, a singlet and shorts will do me just fine.
Matthias and Flora came with us, and Flora did rather well, managing the run at the end of the afternoon. There were not that many beginners since none of the facilities were opened. Evidently, there was more snowboarders than skiers, and I stand by my choice that snowboarding is reallllllly more fun! (Thanks to the lighter Burton Board as well.. tsk tsk)
Hmm... this may be the end of snow season for me, even before the real snow season started!
Wednesday, April 01, 2009
One Last Midnight Post
When do we make a right decision, and when do we make the decision right?
We make the right decision with faith, and we make the decision right with hope.
Faith because we can't see the future. Hope because we can only see the future.
Faith, hope and love. Love is still greatest. It gives strength to the faithless, hope to the weary.
We make the right decision with faith, and we make the decision right with hope.
Faith because we can't see the future. Hope because we can only see the future.
Faith, hope and love. Love is still greatest. It gives strength to the faithless, hope to the weary.
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
I will try...
I will try to forget the hurtful words
Remember the ones that were beautiful
I'll ask that winds not to weather lines of doubts
And return me to the day I first loved you
I remembered you were my hero
You were strong, yet gentle and kind
I laughed when you were around
Smiled when you filled my mind
I want to be admired
Loved, respected
To also do the same for you
Even if we are both imperfect beings
Flog not the relationship
Blame not the person
Belittle not the other
Think not always about yourself.
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. (Phil 4:8)
Remember the ones that were beautiful
I'll ask that winds not to weather lines of doubts
And return me to the day I first loved you
I remembered you were my hero
You were strong, yet gentle and kind
I laughed when you were around
Smiled when you filled my mind
I want to be admired
Loved, respected
To also do the same for you
Even if we are both imperfect beings
Flog not the relationship
Blame not the person
Belittle not the other
Think not always about yourself.
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. (Phil 4:8)
Tuesday, December 09, 2008
Heroic Birthday Trip
My blog hasn't been the most up to date these days. Apologies to those who were caught in between the intermission.
I've got these pictures saved as draft and they dated a few months back. These are the ones taken in end november where I added another count to the Great Ocean Road. Found a cosy little accomodation "All About Lorne" just about the same time the schoolies hit Lorne. Turned out that Michelle knew the owner of this place.
Halfway through our journey, we stopped by Bellbrae Harvest for lunch. We walked away our calories off at Apollo Bay, settling for a great view at Marriners Lookout. Had dinner at Lorne Oven House, and fled away from the noisy schoolies for a quiet night thereafter.
Morning brekky was served at Cafe Kaos, and we walked along the beach to nearby sounds of 'dosh dosh', but packed up soon after to find another piece of paradise. Dosh dosh music really doesn't go with the idyllic beach, and if not for celebrating a birthday, it was probably a rather bad time to head down to Lorne. Neverthless, it was a lovely weather to be there, and it was a weekend well spent.
Our last stop was the Split Point Lighthouse, which recently offered (or re-offered) hourly tours inside the lighthouse. I don't remember having gone into a lighthouse before. It was very windy at the top, but offered a good vantage point to all 360 degrees of the manificient Great Ocean Road scenary.
Came home exhausted but happy. The birthday boy was a litte sick though.
Split Point Lighthouse - hourly tours are available to see the inside of the lighthouse
Views from the top of the lighthouse
Outside the window of our patio at "All About Lorne"
View from Marriners Lookout - a favourite launch sit for hand gliders
My lamb in filo at Bellbrae Harvest
I've got these pictures saved as draft and they dated a few months back. These are the ones taken in end november where I added another count to the Great Ocean Road. Found a cosy little accomodation "All About Lorne" just about the same time the schoolies hit Lorne. Turned out that Michelle knew the owner of this place.
Halfway through our journey, we stopped by Bellbrae Harvest for lunch. We walked away our calories off at Apollo Bay, settling for a great view at Marriners Lookout. Had dinner at Lorne Oven House, and fled away from the noisy schoolies for a quiet night thereafter.
Morning brekky was served at Cafe Kaos, and we walked along the beach to nearby sounds of 'dosh dosh', but packed up soon after to find another piece of paradise. Dosh dosh music really doesn't go with the idyllic beach, and if not for celebrating a birthday, it was probably a rather bad time to head down to Lorne. Neverthless, it was a lovely weather to be there, and it was a weekend well spent.
Our last stop was the Split Point Lighthouse, which recently offered (or re-offered) hourly tours inside the lighthouse. I don't remember having gone into a lighthouse before. It was very windy at the top, but offered a good vantage point to all 360 degrees of the manificient Great Ocean Road scenary.
Came home exhausted but happy. The birthday boy was a litte sick though.
Split Point Lighthouse - hourly tours are available to see the inside of the lighthouse
Views from the top of the lighthouse
Outside the window of our patio at "All About Lorne"
View from Marriners Lookout - a favourite launch sit for hand gliders
My lamb in filo at Bellbrae Harvest
Monday, October 13, 2008
The Melbourne Marathon
Daisy and I decided to do something useful with our legs over the winter. We signed up for the Melbourne Marathon some time back, ran a few weekends away at Princes Park, and we were there to conquer the world!
Before you think we signed up for the full marathon, it was the 5.5km that we went for. Surely we have to start small, and there were a few friends who wanted to all join in. The run was short, but the atmosphere was nothing that short, with Daisy running into the MCG the same time as the Ethopian full-marathon winner, stealing part of his limelight. There are 2 mega screens that beam you as you are running into the stadium, and big crowds watching at the rows.
It was nevertheless, quite an experience. We all agreed that we'll have to move on to 10km next year. After all, the medals are much nicer.
The start point just outside the Rod Laver Arena
My 'lucky' number
The finishing stretch before you run into the MCG and have the world cheering for you!
The happy runners with their medals
Before you think we signed up for the full marathon, it was the 5.5km that we went for. Surely we have to start small, and there were a few friends who wanted to all join in. The run was short, but the atmosphere was nothing that short, with Daisy running into the MCG the same time as the Ethopian full-marathon winner, stealing part of his limelight. There are 2 mega screens that beam you as you are running into the stadium, and big crowds watching at the rows.
It was nevertheless, quite an experience. We all agreed that we'll have to move on to 10km next year. After all, the medals are much nicer.
The start point just outside the Rod Laver Arena
My 'lucky' number
The finishing stretch before you run into the MCG and have the world cheering for you!
The happy runners with their medals
Saturday, October 11, 2008
The week gone by...
This has to be one of my favourite birthday week in Melbourne. It's the 4th birthday I'm celebrating here, and each time, it's with a different group of people. This year, I had Singapore celebrating with me as we all headed down to the "I love sg" day at Sidney Myer Bowl. I was treated with Laksa, Chilli Crab, Chicken Rice, Hokkien mee (with a huge king prawn), PCK and gang, Dick Lee belting his "Fried Rice Paradise" tunes...all compliments of the Singapore government. My present was a bag full of Glory brand Kaya, Yeo's Satay Sauce, Nasi Goreng sauce, Yeo's herbal drink, a mat, an umbrella, and Singtel threw in a $10 calling card for the homesick. All these for 12,000 people who decided to turn up for free food and entertaiment, as well as old friends from Canberra who flew down to join in the fun.
On my actual birthday itself, I had a fantastic lunch at The Stokehouse facing the St Kilda Beach. I had the milk fed veal fillet with truffled gnoccetti, mushroom ragout, capocollo and foie gras and it was really deserving of the 2 chef hats. The weather was beautiful enough to take an afternoon nap at the beach, finishing up with some chocolate ice-cream, and I even manage to catch Wall-E before it ends its run here.
I had a few surprise presents this year too. Nel mailed me a Care Bear, Sha a piggy motif pouch, I've got a breathing cat and some beautiful paintings.. The tribe decided to send me a silly package of movies, with the silliest birthday card... and Daisy got me a Lonely Planet Japan book to persuade me to head for there in Dec/Jan. Cell Group delivered a surprise when they got flowers delivered to my office, and Terence got a box of chocs straight from the factory of Haighs.
Time to count my blessings.... I thought it almost felt like the usual birthday celebrations I get from home.
I love SG day. PCK and his family were on stage.
The lovely Ranunculus I got from the cell group
On my actual birthday itself, I had a fantastic lunch at The Stokehouse facing the St Kilda Beach. I had the milk fed veal fillet with truffled gnoccetti, mushroom ragout, capocollo and foie gras and it was really deserving of the 2 chef hats. The weather was beautiful enough to take an afternoon nap at the beach, finishing up with some chocolate ice-cream, and I even manage to catch Wall-E before it ends its run here.
I had a few surprise presents this year too. Nel mailed me a Care Bear, Sha a piggy motif pouch, I've got a breathing cat and some beautiful paintings.. The tribe decided to send me a silly package of movies, with the silliest birthday card... and Daisy got me a Lonely Planet Japan book to persuade me to head for there in Dec/Jan. Cell Group delivered a surprise when they got flowers delivered to my office, and Terence got a box of chocs straight from the factory of Haighs.
Time to count my blessings.... I thought it almost felt like the usual birthday celebrations I get from home.
I love SG day. PCK and his family were on stage.
The lovely Ranunculus I got from the cell group
Friday, October 10, 2008
My New Pet
Meet my new pet, he's a ginger tabby and sleeps next to me at night. His tummy moves up and down when he breathes and he makes purring sounds. The downside is that he doesn't wake up, and he runs on batteries.
Isn't he cute??? I'm thinking of a name for him.
Isn't he cute??? I'm thinking of a name for him.
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Is it time to go...
I started writing this blog as a way of recording the 1.5 years I was supposed to be here.
Have I overstayed? Is it time to leave?
I no longer have very compelling reasons to stay on.
Something happened today that has made me ponder over this even harder.
"Even the sparrow has found a home, and the swallow a nest for herself, where she may have her young— a place near your altar."
Have I overstayed? Is it time to leave?
I no longer have very compelling reasons to stay on.
Something happened today that has made me ponder over this even harder.
"Even the sparrow has found a home, and the swallow a nest for herself, where she may have her young— a place near your altar."
Friday, September 19, 2008
The Wrong Kind of Love
In the last 8 hours, I have talked to a divorced mother of 2 who turned lesbian, had lunch with a man who married twice, had a drink with a woman recently spurned and rejected by her husband, and got literally carried off my feet by a handsome gay man who got too excited talking to me about his holiday plans with his partner.
It made me wonder about love. Who's found it, who's lost it, and who is the happiest? Did the right way not worked out and the wrong way did?
When Jesus said "Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends", he didn't try to be philosophical about love. Think of all the reasons for breakups and divorces and you'll only find a coward with a selfish motivation where love has failed to provide for the insatiable "how-can-i-be-fulfilled" appetite- finding a truer love, a better person, an ideal match, a higher feeling. Have they tried expanding their capacity to love, instead of changing their object of love whenever they hit a snag? Would finding that true love make love so easy and so unburdensome that you can skip your way to 'happy ever after'?
From the selfish coward to the unnecessary hero of love-"Unattainability" as C.S Lewis so eloquently put as the essential quality of love, the intense joy that lies in not having but desiring- celebrates the romantic masochist but had conveniently buried the rest who had their heart sick with deferred hope or hopelessness. Let us not forget that "unattainability" was also the same word that seduced Eve to disregard all that God has given but desire for what she could not have in the garden. Real love always hopes, always trusts and always perseveres.
Give me a real hero who will fight for his love in the real battlefield instead of the pseudo longsuffering romeo in his armchair.
Love is an act, a decision and a sacrifice. The others are best left in fairy tales and the cinema (and the bar that I've just walked out of).
It made me wonder about love. Who's found it, who's lost it, and who is the happiest? Did the right way not worked out and the wrong way did?
When Jesus said "Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends", he didn't try to be philosophical about love. Think of all the reasons for breakups and divorces and you'll only find a coward with a selfish motivation where love has failed to provide for the insatiable "how-can-i-be-fulfilled" appetite- finding a truer love, a better person, an ideal match, a higher feeling. Have they tried expanding their capacity to love, instead of changing their object of love whenever they hit a snag? Would finding that true love make love so easy and so unburdensome that you can skip your way to 'happy ever after'?
From the selfish coward to the unnecessary hero of love-"Unattainability" as C.S Lewis so eloquently put as the essential quality of love, the intense joy that lies in not having but desiring- celebrates the romantic masochist but had conveniently buried the rest who had their heart sick with deferred hope or hopelessness. Let us not forget that "unattainability" was also the same word that seduced Eve to disregard all that God has given but desire for what she could not have in the garden. Real love always hopes, always trusts and always perseveres.
Give me a real hero who will fight for his love in the real battlefield instead of the pseudo longsuffering romeo in his armchair.
Love is an act, a decision and a sacrifice. The others are best left in fairy tales and the cinema (and the bar that I've just walked out of).
Sunday, September 14, 2008
When I woke up and saw the blue skies...
I know people use the topic of weather during small-talk, but when the weather change, I really feel my mood change as well.
We had a bout of warm weather yesterday. It was nicely warm and sunny, and it made me miss the beach. I remembered how there was no where else I wanted to be last summer, just the beach, beach and more beach.
It's not really summer yet, but yesterday's weather was probably a nice sneak. I was recovering, but still ended up doing a long walk in the morning, and another run in the late afternoon.
Today, I ended up still feeling a little under the weather, and while hiding under the sheets with my heater turned up, I'm wishing that I am rugged up sitting on the sand watching the waves and sunset instead.
Till another blue skies day...
We had a bout of warm weather yesterday. It was nicely warm and sunny, and it made me miss the beach. I remembered how there was no where else I wanted to be last summer, just the beach, beach and more beach.
It's not really summer yet, but yesterday's weather was probably a nice sneak. I was recovering, but still ended up doing a long walk in the morning, and another run in the late afternoon.
Today, I ended up still feeling a little under the weather, and while hiding under the sheets with my heater turned up, I'm wishing that I am rugged up sitting on the sand watching the waves and sunset instead.
Till another blue skies day...
Saturday, September 13, 2008
Faith like a mustard seed...
If you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, "Move from here to there" and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you. (Matthew 17:20)
Mum was relating an incident that happened to her recently. One of her acquaintance told her about something she was praying for. Both my mum and her friend are not Christians.
Mum: "I tell you something incredible. My friend told me that she actually prayed to Jesus to grant her a job, and that this job be situated near to a Buddhist temple so that she drop in during and after work.. Can you imagine her shock when she really got a job, and there was a really huge temple nearby? And I don't believe she actually had the audacity to pray to Jesus about it. If your Jesus really did answer her prayer, he must be the most gracious God ever."
We laughed at how incredible it was and agreed that she owed Jesus a great deal.
However, Jesus did answered such a seemingly contradictory prayer; Mum was right, Jesus has to be a ridiculously gracious God to do that. She showed me something that I never saw from my own Christian eyes.
And her friend, though not Christian, knew which God to pour her heart's desires to, totally disregarded the probability of how this silly prayer will be answered and prayed with conviction for her prayer to be answered. She'll attest today that it was Jesus who answered her prayers.
As I was reading the above verse tonight, I ask myself how I approach God for His help. Too often, I fall into the tyranny of analyzing the contents of my prayer, if it was a prayer God will answer, if it's right to pray such a prayer, if I was 'against His will' praying this, if the answer likely to be a 'No', then I might not pray it. I've complicated prayer too much.
Come with faith like a mustard seed, and believe that nothing is really impossible for God, even silly ones. His graciousness is beyond our understanding.
Mum was relating an incident that happened to her recently. One of her acquaintance told her about something she was praying for. Both my mum and her friend are not Christians.
Mum: "I tell you something incredible. My friend told me that she actually prayed to Jesus to grant her a job, and that this job be situated near to a Buddhist temple so that she drop in during and after work.. Can you imagine her shock when she really got a job, and there was a really huge temple nearby? And I don't believe she actually had the audacity to pray to Jesus about it. If your Jesus really did answer her prayer, he must be the most gracious God ever."
We laughed at how incredible it was and agreed that she owed Jesus a great deal.
However, Jesus did answered such a seemingly contradictory prayer; Mum was right, Jesus has to be a ridiculously gracious God to do that. She showed me something that I never saw from my own Christian eyes.
And her friend, though not Christian, knew which God to pour her heart's desires to, totally disregarded the probability of how this silly prayer will be answered and prayed with conviction for her prayer to be answered. She'll attest today that it was Jesus who answered her prayers.
As I was reading the above verse tonight, I ask myself how I approach God for His help. Too often, I fall into the tyranny of analyzing the contents of my prayer, if it was a prayer God will answer, if it's right to pray such a prayer, if I was 'against His will' praying this, if the answer likely to be a 'No', then I might not pray it. I've complicated prayer too much.
Come with faith like a mustard seed, and believe that nothing is really impossible for God, even silly ones. His graciousness is beyond our understanding.
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Sick...
Finally succumbed to it... I've fallen sick.
Must be God's way of letting me mindlessly sleep in peace, and get some much needed rest.
I feel like a car right now - the only way to raise an alarm is when it refuses to move any more. Have been pushing myself in every aspect these days, popping panadols just to get through the day without calling in sick. Decided to get off work slightly earlier today to take a hot shower and nap through the evening. Feeling awfully chilly.
Time to sleep again. The car really needs a rest.
Must be God's way of letting me mindlessly sleep in peace, and get some much needed rest.
I feel like a car right now - the only way to raise an alarm is when it refuses to move any more. Have been pushing myself in every aspect these days, popping panadols just to get through the day without calling in sick. Decided to get off work slightly earlier today to take a hot shower and nap through the evening. Feeling awfully chilly.
Time to sleep again. The car really needs a rest.
Tuesday, September 09, 2008
For a special person...
I still kept the few old sms that reminded me of how the friendship blossomed. This friend doesn't get enough mention in this blog, because it always seems like there are so many other opportunities to express appreciation.
Someone who has been with me, saw the highest and lowest, listened to me, laughed with me, and even after the many many days and months we shared together, I never got tired of spending time with you.
Friend, if you are reading this blog, just want to tell you the gratitude I feel when I think about you. Even in the rather low moments, my heart doesn't feel totally defeated because I know you are close by.
Thank God for bringing us together. I am really blessed.
Someone who has been with me, saw the highest and lowest, listened to me, laughed with me, and even after the many many days and months we shared together, I never got tired of spending time with you.
Friend, if you are reading this blog, just want to tell you the gratitude I feel when I think about you. Even in the rather low moments, my heart doesn't feel totally defeated because I know you are close by.
Thank God for bringing us together. I am really blessed.
Saturday, August 30, 2008
Have I grown stupid?
I really like this verse: "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight" (Proverbs 3:5-6).
Although common, this verse springs out a different way at me every time I meditate on it when I'm confused. Why am I told to trust in Him with all my heart and ignore my head? Aren't feelings like shifting sands and the mind more superior to the heart?
Out of curiosity, I read the verse preceding: "Let Love and Faithfulness never leave you... write them on the tablet of your heart" and then realised, "Wait, I can never trust God completely if I simply depended on my head". Over the last few years, the facts I came to know of, the signs I witnessed, the outcomes I experienced, can never compel me to surrender all to him. Someone dies, another marriage broken, disappointments, unanswered prayers, dashed hopes, love betrayed... how can I possibly and logically leave my future with God? My mind sees and analyses facts, but it is my heart that is attuned to perceiving God's heart and His love.
Where do you hide your love and faithfulness? In your head or in your heart?
Although common, this verse springs out a different way at me every time I meditate on it when I'm confused. Why am I told to trust in Him with all my heart and ignore my head? Aren't feelings like shifting sands and the mind more superior to the heart?
Out of curiosity, I read the verse preceding: "Let Love and Faithfulness never leave you... write them on the tablet of your heart" and then realised, "Wait, I can never trust God completely if I simply depended on my head". Over the last few years, the facts I came to know of, the signs I witnessed, the outcomes I experienced, can never compel me to surrender all to him. Someone dies, another marriage broken, disappointments, unanswered prayers, dashed hopes, love betrayed... how can I possibly and logically leave my future with God? My mind sees and analyses facts, but it is my heart that is attuned to perceiving God's heart and His love.
Where do you hide your love and faithfulness? In your head or in your heart?
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
A random sweet song...
Got a habit of repeating the same songs over these days. I was listening to 'I'm Yours' by Jason Mraz and caught this song 'Lucky' from the same album as well. The lyrics fine, but it's the tune and the duet that makes it such a sweetie.
Saturday, August 16, 2008
Landing in the Wrong Land...
Have you ever had an idealized version of a life, relationship, family, spouse, job, and yet you got derailed in that vision? Though not exactly disastrous situations, you are caught between stomping your feet crying 'no no no, that's not what I've wanted!' and accepting a not-so-ideal.
I was reading Mark Conner's blog, and was moved by this poem "Welcome to Holland" written by Emily Pearl Kingsley, a parent of a special needs child.
I was reading Mark Conner's blog, and was moved by this poem "Welcome to Holland" written by Emily Pearl Kingsley, a parent of a special needs child.
"I am often asked to describe the experience
Of raising a child with a disability,
To help people, who have not shared that unique experience,
Understand it
And imagine how it would feel.
It's like this
When you're going to have a baby,
It's like planning a fabulous trip to Italy;
You buy a bunch of guidebooks and make your wonderful plans-
The Coliseum, Michelangelo's David, the gondolas in Venice-
You may even learn some handy phrases in Italian.
It's all very exciting.
After all the months of eager anticipation,
The day finally arrives.
You pack your bags and off you go
Several hours later, the plane lands,
The stewardess comes in and says
'Welcome to Holland'.
'HOLLAND!?' you say. 'What do you mean, Holland?
I signed up for Italy.
I'm supposed to be in Italy.
All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy'.
But there has been a change in the flight plan.
The important thing is
That they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place
Full of pestilence, famine and disease.
It's just a different place.
So, you must go out and buy new guidebooks.
And you must learn a whole new language.
And you will meet a whole new group of people
You would never have otherwise met.
It's just a different place.
It's slower paced than Italy;
Less flashy than Italy.
But after you've been there for a while
And catch your breath,
You look around and you begin to notice
That Holland has windmills;
Holland has tulips;
Holland even has Rembrandts.
But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy,
And they're all bragging about the wonderful time they had.
And for the rest of your life you will say
'Yes, that's where I was supposed to go;
That's what I had planned'.
The pain of that will never, ever go away,
Because the loss of that dream is a very significant loss.
But if you spend your life mourning the fact
That you didn't get to Italy,
You may never be free to enjoy
The very special, the very lovely things about Holland."
Friday, August 15, 2008
Snowy Weekend
We've got quite a good snow season this year. After bumping my head silly in spring snow last year, this year proved to be a less painful experience. Furthermore, Dan has arranged a good trip with great people, nice accom, and hordes and hordes of food.
I'm glad I didn't waver in my choice to drop snowboarding for skiing this year. The soft snow makes digging into the snow easier (not to mention falling on your face is quite a breeze too). The other 'smart' thing I did was to get myself enrolled in 3 hours of private lessons. As much as that meant I have to survive on instant noodles and bean sprouts for the next few weeks, it brought me up to speed and within a day, I found myself doing the J-turns and trying to link a few turns- after which you can officially call yourself a 'snowboarder' instead of a 'tumbling snow eater'. Click here if you are new to what I'm talking about.
The only downside is that Mount Hotham caters more to the Intermediate and Expert skiers, and the very very downside is that my snowboard crush of last year would still be in Falls Creek. So there wasn't a smitten kitten at the end of my lessons as Chris my South African instructor was only too keen to earn my extra bucks.
I inherited two amazing big blue blacks, but otherwise, I'm quite happy that it's a giant well-faced again. I seriously won't mind going for another trip before this season ends, but the 5 hours drive up there is a big hold back.
Well, till the next snowfall again.
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
When love is a decision away...
I am the baby of my department, and I hang out with the ang moh 'uncles' for lunch, people in their 40s-50s who are married with growing/grown up children.
One of our favourite lunch topic is our views of marriage. It's interesting to see how they met their spouses, how it all started with love or even physical attraction, and how all of them agree that their spouses have grown differently from when they first started. Graham the 55 year old laughs at the tiff he had with his wife the night before (and you know they'll patch up in no time), and Grant still calls his wife every lunchtime and calls her 'darling' after 20 years of marriage.
It makes me wonder in light of a few divorces that are hanging around me, if love is sustained by interests/similarities or a decision to want to make love work. My fren Nel said that one of the things she admired about her husband when they were dating is how he never saw the exit door as an option when things don't turn out well.
Over the years, I've been in good and bad human relationships to develop my personal outlook on love. As much as I can be emotional at times, I love not because I want love returned in that same capacity, or do I give as much as what someone deserves. In the last few months, I thank God for teaching me how to love beyond what I'm usually comfortable with. It's easy to love what you like, when others do things your way, share your similarities, and anything that doesn't go against your grain of things. I know I can also succumb to an easy relationship of being loved, but I will come out none the wiser about my capability and capacity of loving.
Love is a challenge. In every quarrel, disagreement, irksome differences, there lies an opportunity to extend my ability to love.
Is love about similarities, or is it more a decision of wanting to be challenged to grow your love as wide as to cover differences?
One of our favourite lunch topic is our views of marriage. It's interesting to see how they met their spouses, how it all started with love or even physical attraction, and how all of them agree that their spouses have grown differently from when they first started. Graham the 55 year old laughs at the tiff he had with his wife the night before (and you know they'll patch up in no time), and Grant still calls his wife every lunchtime and calls her 'darling' after 20 years of marriage.
It makes me wonder in light of a few divorces that are hanging around me, if love is sustained by interests/similarities or a decision to want to make love work. My fren Nel said that one of the things she admired about her husband when they were dating is how he never saw the exit door as an option when things don't turn out well.
Over the years, I've been in good and bad human relationships to develop my personal outlook on love. As much as I can be emotional at times, I love not because I want love returned in that same capacity, or do I give as much as what someone deserves. In the last few months, I thank God for teaching me how to love beyond what I'm usually comfortable with. It's easy to love what you like, when others do things your way, share your similarities, and anything that doesn't go against your grain of things. I know I can also succumb to an easy relationship of being loved, but I will come out none the wiser about my capability and capacity of loving.
Love is a challenge. In every quarrel, disagreement, irksome differences, there lies an opportunity to extend my ability to love.
Is love about similarities, or is it more a decision of wanting to be challenged to grow your love as wide as to cover differences?
Monday, July 28, 2008
10 to 1
I promised Daisy this... the 10 most often used aussie words/phrases to use in various social contexts.
In no particular order of usage
1) He/You make me uncomfortable / As long as you are comfortable with it
2) He/you are annoying
3) He is like/ it's like / I'm so like...
4) Fair Dinkum
5) Beauty! / Gold (nothing to do with beautiful woman or striking gold)
6) Reckon (I reckon it gets used a lot to express our thoughts)
7) 'Happy' to do blah blah blah.. (I hail from a country where no one can possibly happy to do any 'work')
8) Chuck a sickie (My all time favourite and someone's going to do that on Wed)
9) Heaps (a lot, many, much)
10) Whinge (complain)
In no particular order of usage
1) He/You make me uncomfortable / As long as you are comfortable with it
2) He/you are annoying
3) He is like/ it's like / I'm so like...
4) Fair Dinkum
5) Beauty! / Gold (nothing to do with beautiful woman or striking gold)
6) Reckon (I reckon it gets used a lot to express our thoughts)
7) 'Happy' to do blah blah blah.. (I hail from a country where no one can possibly happy to do any 'work')
8) Chuck a sickie (My all time favourite and someone's going to do that on Wed)
9) Heaps (a lot, many, much)
10) Whinge (complain)
Sunday, July 27, 2008
One Happy Post
There were two thoughts of the week that got me thinking... that mmm... it was all worth it.
I was spending the last 10mins of my work reading a list of prayer requests from Singapore. They all sounded stressed. There I was, preparing to go home on the dot.
Then a friend back home commented to me that sometimes life seemed to be a cycle of working hard, resting and before you know it, Monday is back again. There's just no reprieve to it.
Tomorrow is Monday again. Yet I do not feel like I dread going to work. Over the weekend, I went to watch Hamlet at the Arts Centre, went to the hairdressers, had a Spanish dinner, went to church, dropped by the art gallery, and watched 'Definitely Maybe'. Exactly a week ago I was throwing snowballs at Lake Mountain, and trying to do an Edward Scissorshands with heaps of fresh snow falling down on me.
I have been really enjoying my weekends, and I feel really in bliss to be able to enjoy all these activities. At the risk of sounding airy fairy, it's not so much that I will be unhappy in Singapore, but I'm glad I can walk to work every Monday without feeling the heaven-to-hell difference.
The winter is cold but my heart's nicely warmed.
Thanks to the necessary hero who's larger than life to me today.
I was spending the last 10mins of my work reading a list of prayer requests from Singapore. They all sounded stressed. There I was, preparing to go home on the dot.
Then a friend back home commented to me that sometimes life seemed to be a cycle of working hard, resting and before you know it, Monday is back again. There's just no reprieve to it.
Tomorrow is Monday again. Yet I do not feel like I dread going to work. Over the weekend, I went to watch Hamlet at the Arts Centre, went to the hairdressers, had a Spanish dinner, went to church, dropped by the art gallery, and watched 'Definitely Maybe'. Exactly a week ago I was throwing snowballs at Lake Mountain, and trying to do an Edward Scissorshands with heaps of fresh snow falling down on me.
I have been really enjoying my weekends, and I feel really in bliss to be able to enjoy all these activities. At the risk of sounding airy fairy, it's not so much that I will be unhappy in Singapore, but I'm glad I can walk to work every Monday without feeling the heaven-to-hell difference.
The winter is cold but my heart's nicely warmed.
Thanks to the necessary hero who's larger than life to me today.
Wednesday, July 02, 2008
It's been a long while....
Can't whip out the lengthy tabloid version, only the ticker tape version of how life has been for the last couple of months.
Beautiful things: Saw a lovely sunset at the Mornington, climbed the Pinnacles @ the Grampians, saw yet another sunset there. Took numerous walks at the Botanical Gardens and Fitzroy Gardens, catching the autumn leaves as they fall. Went to the NGV for the Modern Britain and Black in Fashion exhibitions.
I ate like a whale too. I was stuffed with food at Apte, Bistro Guillaume, 312, Green Refractory, Money Order Office, No 3 @ Station Pier, Ocha. Great food all round, tonnes of calories, horrendously loved.
Winter, though commenced 1 month back, has finally arrived. Feels so cold!
At the Grampians
(In case you are wondering why the fish is stuck to the pics from the Grampians, Blogger has altered its formatting that makes it hard for me to add multiple pics now. It's 1am and I'm too tired to figure it out)
Beautiful things: Saw a lovely sunset at the Mornington, climbed the Pinnacles @ the Grampians, saw yet another sunset there. Took numerous walks at the Botanical Gardens and Fitzroy Gardens, catching the autumn leaves as they fall. Went to the NGV for the Modern Britain and Black in Fashion exhibitions.
I ate like a whale too. I was stuffed with food at Apte, Bistro Guillaume, 312, Green Refractory, Money Order Office, No 3 @ Station Pier, Ocha. Great food all round, tonnes of calories, horrendously loved.
Winter, though commenced 1 month back, has finally arrived. Feels so cold!
At the Grampians
(In case you are wondering why the fish is stuck to the pics from the Grampians, Blogger has altered its formatting that makes it hard for me to add multiple pics now. It's 1am and I'm too tired to figure it out)