We loved Him, for his first loved us.
Imagine a couple quarrelling about who love who more, with each digging out the many things they have done to prove their greater love. Who wins? The one who loved first.
I think the more amazing word in this sentence is 'first'. I never knew how risky it is to acquaint this word with 'love'. It's easy when you are at the responding end of someone's love, like the way we grow up with the assurance of our parent's love. We meet friends we like, then we love. As we grow older, the slope gets steeper, as we look at the person we like and wonder? Will he/she return that liking? Google "Does he like me" and you'll get 22,000,000 hits ("Does she like me" gets 12,100,000). From the stats, we want to know before we make another bad move, another wasted day, another broken heart.
I never knew how hard it is to stand at the tightrope of uncertainty when we have to love first.
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
My Blueberry Nights
Coming back to Melbourne is always a Luna Park roller coaster ride, nothing crazy, but nothing short of ups and down. When Cindy and I returned prematurely for summer school in 2005, we made a pact to meet up for dinner that very same night, barring all possible jet lag or homesickness. For the first few days, your activities, friends and geographical familarity takes a little adjustment, and the faster you get back to sipping those flat whites and sunning yourself on the beach, the better the return gets.
I had my "welcoming adaptation kit" of true blue aussie blueberries, yummy brekkie, the gardens, and my flat white this round. That would have done the job other that I was sick and thinking about the crazy issues... the reminders of hostility from the workplace and the situation that calls for everything-but-the-truth to be told (because the truth wouldn't cut with recruiters this time), makes it a very pressing ethical/non-ethical reminder. But I'm the cool cat... am I? The test of time did succumbed me to those stress, as with Cinderella at the stroke of midnight. In the last 2 days, I popped 3 imaginery sour blueberries consecutively, forgot the other sweet ones in the punnet ... even the giver of them all.
I had my "welcoming adaptation kit" of true blue aussie blueberries, yummy brekkie, the gardens, and my flat white this round. That would have done the job other that I was sick and thinking about the crazy issues... the reminders of hostility from the workplace and the situation that calls for everything-but-the-truth to be told (because the truth wouldn't cut with recruiters this time), makes it a very pressing ethical/non-ethical reminder. But I'm the cool cat... am I? The test of time did succumbed me to those stress, as with Cinderella at the stroke of midnight. In the last 2 days, I popped 3 imaginery sour blueberries consecutively, forgot the other sweet ones in the punnet ... even the giver of them all.
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Countdown- 1 day to go...
I need to get out of here to get better...
Like one of those marathon races, you start slow, pace yourself and when the ending line is in sight, you make a dash for it. I've gone through the rotting-at-home phase, the getting use to the weather, the art of pushing that person in front of you in the MRT, the amazing 10 sms 'conversations' just to confirm a meeting (Try 'What do you feel like doing' for a start, and when you reach "What do you feel like eating', you know you are somewhere near a conclusion)...
And the mad rush of arranging for breakfasts, lunch, dinner, supper has commenced. Had to check out the few new places here- Dempsey Road, Changi Airport Terminal 3, to keep my citizenship. Andrew is currently playing jazz guitar with a saxophone and double bass quartet at Quarubar at Dempsey Road, and it was fun to go by on Saturday night for a catch-up between his sets. The bar is rather spacious, with old-fashion kopi-tiam green mosiac tiles on the floor, but a wooden themed modernity to the decor. The music was lovely, the likes of Chet Baker serenating you as you enjoy a Hoegaarden on tap.
The chronic lack of sleep has also resulted in weird sleeping patterns and a cough that wouldn't go away, and an impending flu. Doesn't help that there's now a packet of fried prawn crackers staring at me, a tin of pineapple tarts in my luggage, the irresistable bak-kwa roasting on an open fire everywhere (and jack frost here is sniffing at her nose)...
Like one of those marathon races, you start slow, pace yourself and when the ending line is in sight, you make a dash for it. I've gone through the rotting-at-home phase, the getting use to the weather, the art of pushing that person in front of you in the MRT, the amazing 10 sms 'conversations' just to confirm a meeting (Try 'What do you feel like doing' for a start, and when you reach "What do you feel like eating', you know you are somewhere near a conclusion)...
And the mad rush of arranging for breakfasts, lunch, dinner, supper has commenced. Had to check out the few new places here- Dempsey Road, Changi Airport Terminal 3, to keep my citizenship. Andrew is currently playing jazz guitar with a saxophone and double bass quartet at Quarubar at Dempsey Road, and it was fun to go by on Saturday night for a catch-up between his sets. The bar is rather spacious, with old-fashion kopi-tiam green mosiac tiles on the floor, but a wooden themed modernity to the decor. The music was lovely, the likes of Chet Baker serenating you as you enjoy a Hoegaarden on tap.
The chronic lack of sleep has also resulted in weird sleeping patterns and a cough that wouldn't go away, and an impending flu. Doesn't help that there's now a packet of fried prawn crackers staring at me, a tin of pineapple tarts in my luggage, the irresistable bak-kwa roasting on an open fire everywhere (and jack frost here is sniffing at her nose)...
Saturday, January 19, 2008
The Countdown
4 more days to flying back. The 4th farewell. The reunions are looking more and more like farewells each time I return, because as soon as I returned, I'm talking about leaving again.
Confusing sometimes. The first week of touching down, I felt the physical homesick, and the last week of leaving, I'm lost as to where to call home. Should I take it as a 1 year trip away from Singapore, or as I would always say to the people on the Aussie side, that I'm just going on a 1 month holiday.
Well, depends on where you call home. And as cliche as it may sound, "Home is Where the Heart is.".. and may I add, biblically- where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.
Confusing sometimes. The first week of touching down, I felt the physical homesick, and the last week of leaving, I'm lost as to where to call home. Should I take it as a 1 year trip away from Singapore, or as I would always say to the people on the Aussie side, that I'm just going on a 1 month holiday.
Well, depends on where you call home. And as cliche as it may sound, "Home is Where the Heart is.".. and may I add, biblically- where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.
Saturday, January 05, 2008
Sleepless in Singapore
It's Saturday, 1.50am. I have 5 browser windows opened - Zuji, SQ, Qantas, one other domestic flight and 1 forum on how airlines waitlist works. I am close to surrendering my wits (and my money) to the most hassle-free flight, but fighting back regrets of why I didn't book weeks back. The price of air tickets rises higher than history-record inflation, faster than a barrel of crude oil, and the flight is unfortunately, none the speedier. In fact, the later I hesistate, the more stopovers I incur.
Tonight I will clear my head, and tomorrow, I will bite the bullet, swallow the bitter pill... (excuse me for the dramatization, but why did i forget that there was an option of waitlisting 2 weeks ago when i went to ask for the tickets). Procrastination is the mother of expensive lessons, followed by stupidity.
Melbourne, here I come again!
On a crazier mode, I am going to supper now with a friend. This will make my 5th meal of the day... yippee to the calories! Hello Chay Kuay Teow!
Such is the life of a Singaporean.
See you later at dreamland.
Tonight I will clear my head, and tomorrow, I will bite the bullet, swallow the bitter pill... (excuse me for the dramatization, but why did i forget that there was an option of waitlisting 2 weeks ago when i went to ask for the tickets). Procrastination is the mother of expensive lessons, followed by stupidity.
Melbourne, here I come again!
On a crazier mode, I am going to supper now with a friend. This will make my 5th meal of the day... yippee to the calories! Hello Chay Kuay Teow!
Such is the life of a Singaporean.
See you later at dreamland.