Deja Vu

"Hey, how's your day? Is everything going fine?"

It was a text message that brought back a sense of deja vu. Some years back, while I was feeling sad, having a stomachache and the cat was sick, there was another sms that was came that same manner, only much more touching.

I laughed as we exchanged a few more texts and I fell asleep happily soon after.

In For One More Day, Mitch Albom wrote about Charley Benetto who was at his end of his wits. He was about to visit his childhood home to end his life, until he had a flashback, spending one final day with his dead mother. Together with his mother, he went back in time to see how his mother never stopped loving him and his sister, despite him trying to gain validation from an absent dad. The sections "Times I did not stand up for my mother" vs "Times My mother stood up for me" was bittersweet for me as well. In the end, Charley did not want to die any more, for he discovered how much his life was valued by being loved.

Know the ones who love you, for even when love cannot change circumstances, it can still lift you out of your darkest pits.

For the thief (devil) comes to destroy, but Jesus came that we may have life, and have it abundantly (John 10:10).

A Whiff of Fresh Air

Isn't it strange how you never noticed someone's soft spot for you till you zoom out to look at the bigger picture?

Faithfulness and Uncertainty

Sometimes, we will have to make a 100 percent commitment to something even thought we do not have 100 percent certainty in our beliefs about it. When we can live in the midst of uncertainty with joyful and courageous commitment, we will change. We will become, maybe not more certain, but more faithful. And faithfulness matters more than certainty. It just doesn't feel as good.

What matters then is not certainty, but faithfulness. When certainty is not possible, faithfulness is still on the table.

Out of the Craziness

I must be the only one to be glad that the holidays are over.

Four full days in Sydney: eating roasts, a big nectarine & apricot cake, drinking copious amount of coffee and wine, reuniting with intersate and overseas friends, meeting up Kwok's colleagues from Mallesons, Rockband, brekky @ Bills and Gunners Barracks (both thumbs down), beautiful Mosman with dreamy yatchs just outside the balcony (to die for)...

I'm back to normalcy again. I haven't quite had that much time to think about things amidst the crazy buzz of the holidays.

Most of all, I always thought I wanted an answer to something, without figuring out if I myself had the answer. I haven't sat myself down to seriously consider if this was something I wanted. Reasons aside, I have deviated to a point that I need to slow myself down and take serious stock.

My first temptation came shortly after they've kept the fireworks. The recruiter called once again. He's always given me the feeling of someone manipulative. Before he can dangle another questionable job offer for this year, I got ahead of him by politely telling him what jobs I am truly interested in. Did I want to hear the rest? No thanks. I would like to stay focused. He later emailed to wish me happy new year.

If 2009 is a drift-along year, 2010 will be more adventurous and fruitful. Give me something exciting to work with, and with the help from God, it'll surely bring forth good fruits.