Sobering Up

I thought I was turning into some kind of religious fanatic. I seeked, prayed, read, and spent so much time just away from all the noise. I hardly watched tv, I cut down on web surfing, and I enjoyed the peace and quiet.

I felt sobered. You know how you are so used to operating in a certain way, reacting when someone provokes you, and you thought the world operates on the sort of beliefs you used to hold so tightly?

(Not so suddenly), you woke up and the world no longer spins the way you thought it to be. You lost control, but you are not spinning out of control. You relegated the control to someone else. After all, what you once thought and believed does not hold true anymore. The truth becomes honestly glaring; there is no running away.

The state of inebriation has the nicest feel, but it is not the truth. I was at a restaurant and I saw a family, and although I am not privy to their struggles and joy, I thought it must be assumed that many moons ago, two people had love, dreams and the courage to take the plunge. Many moons later, these two people may have moved from where they once stood, but they must have been so much braver, selfless and yielding than they once were. They must have learnt how to sacrifice, to give, to receive and to find courage in longstanding struggles.

Sobering up, I know that I must be with a partner who would want to weather the storms with me together with God's help. I am not overtly pessimistic, but in fair weather, everyone wants to join the bandwagon. I am truly amazed by Jesus' choice of his disciples - the average Joe who were neither rich, intelligent or even impressive. In the end, nearly all died for Jesus' cause and furthered His ministry. That is truly impressive.

Looking through my box of snail mails today, I saw that I got the most mails from 3 good friends who have weathered laughter and tears with me for almost 20 years. They are my choice of friends, and definitely people I would want to travel alongside for the rest of my life.