Today I had all the wrong feelings. I felt happy when I was supposed to feel sad, and calm when I was supposed to get angry.
Was talking to a good friend tonight, and she shared a story about a horrendous period that logically follows a heartbreaking end. But in a strange twist, the story ended in joy like the fall of the Jericho wall. The amazing thing is how she spoke to my heart and mind, giving me so many thoughts. It was as if she carved a lesson of calmness in adversity into my spirit.
I was trying to make a decision tonight. For the last few days, I had earlier wanted to do a certain thing my way, focusing too much on my emotions rather than accepting the decision of someone else. Then the calmness melted away the emotions, and I started typing an email to retract my decision.
Just as I was typing my email, I received a phone call. Some unpleasant words were spoken to me, and there were possibly good reasons to get angry. Instead I found some better words to speak, and I hope I calmed the person down.
My last phone call of the day. I abandoned the email I was writing earlier and called the person to retract my decision. My feelings for the decision were strong in the last few days, but after what happened today, I gave in (or gave up?) to make someone's life happier.
I think I was supposed to feel very upset tonight. I think God found my good friend and He gave me strength by being teachable through her story. That I can sometimes forget myself, my agenda, my anger, my strong feelings and even my selfish love for a better outcome. That outcome to smile when it hurts, laugh when you lost something, and be at peace in adversity.
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
