If waiting is the time between prayer and revelation, is there an attitude to waiting?
I was drained out during the whole of yesterday. For the first time, I was being called to seek God's presence many times, yet never knew why I was drawn to my knees each time. Later that day, I got to know that a friend's mum was on the verge of death, and I was desperate and wanted someone to pray with me. I thought about who's around but ended up emailing the necessary hero to pray. Nearer the end of the day, I still felt that drawing feeling. Prayed with Tracy via long distance phone call before I could get to sleep.
24 hours later, my friend's mum had managed to pull through the night. I also received a call from a recruiter who informed me that he's going to pass my resume to some companies (this was after a very disappointing meeting with his colleague who did not look remotely interested). I continued to ask God what yesterday was about- I was drawn to reflect my own attitude of waiting recently. I have gotten anxious with the actors in a play when the producer/director is the one determining the pace of it, and the bigger revelation being that if I want to be fearful while waiting, I am handing myself a death sentence of a different kind, prayer or no prayer.
In retrospect, the reason why I found 'Waiting' (the book) beautiful was also because Shuyi the ex-wife waited with faith, for there was no mention of her fears or the troublesome psychology of 'what-ifs' despite going through 18 years of impending divorce. I believe that was what Lin saw when he chose this 'peace of mind' over love.
Waiting becomes a peaceful anticipation when you wait in faith, but turns into a hungry beast that devours you when you wait in fear.
